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Question:
My son is engaged to a 20 year old girl. She was in a car accident on the 23 of Oct. She was in a coma for 60 days. She has woke up and is doing good as far as her mental status. She is paralyzed from the waist down. She is struggling with this which is normal of course. They are still getting married this spring as soon as she gets her strenght and health back. She is a darling girl and we are so lucky to still have her with us, she was in such bad shape at one time. I am wondering about her chances of having children. She has no feeling from her waist down. Also how will this effect their sexual realations. My son loves her very dearly and is willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. I would apprecitate it if you could help educate me on some of the things that they might face as a married couple. Thank you so much
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Answer:
by Sandra Welner: (05/24/2004)
What a wonderful, warm e-mail. Your son and daughter-in-law-to-be
have one big battle conquered already. They have the warmth and love of your
support and acceptance. This frequently does not happen as many people are
not as open-minded as you clearly are.
Your first question was about her chances of having children. Having
a spinal cord injury does not affect a woman's ability to get pregnant, have
a successful pregnancy, or delivery. It is not uncommon for the menstrual
periods to stop temporarily initially, but they usually resume and are back
to normal. As soon as she begins menstruating that indicates she is probably
having ovulation and if she and your son are intimate, she can get pregnant.
There are a number of issues pertaining to women with spinal cord injury that
are slightly different from women without spinal cord injury, but information
about these issues is widely available and should not pose an obstacle for
her to get good prenatal care. Even if she doesn't have sensation in her
pelvic area, the uterus is a muscle that has its own innervation and when she
is ready to deliver, the muscle will contract anyway, whether she is pushing
or not. So, many women with spinal cord injury are able to have vaginal
delivery successfully.
As far as sexual activity, there are many studies of women with spinal cord
injury and sexual functioning. Although we don't really understand the
mechanism or pathways, women with spinal cord injury are capable of having
orgasms and sexual pleasure from genital stimulation or from touching in
other parts of the body. There sometimes is a problem with lubrication that
can be easily overcome as there are many effective water-based lubricants
available on the market. If your son's bond to his future wife is strong and
sure, they will find ways to make things work for them. There are a lot of
very good resources for people with disabilities who are learning the ropes
of how to integrate into society after new injuries. If you'd like, I can
pass some of those on to you so you can share them with your son and future
daughter-in-law. They are lucky to have someone who is so sincerely
concerned and supportive as you are.
I wish you and them the best of luck.
SW, MD Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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