Often sex response decreases when the relationship we have changes in some way. It sounds to me as if the relationship between your husband and you might need some work and when that happens, your sex life might get a lot better.

You mentioned things like wanting your husband to slow down, give more attention to you, wanting to stay home and having sex during the day - all wonderful ideas for increasing your ability to climax.

I would suggest that you try to have a conversation with your husband about how much you care about him and the two of you, and how much your sex life is important to you. You will need to tell him what it is that you want in order for him to make any changes at all. Even then, he may only be able to make a few changes at the beginning. He may believe that it is all his fault and he won't feel very good about himself and sex.

If you think you will have difficulty in having this conversation in a positive way, I would suggest that you find a good therapist near where you live and seek that persons help. In the present times, therapists are able to help couples enrich their lives by increasing the communication between them.

I can't do much more here other than give you advice, but a therapist can help you work through the issues that the two of you may have that hold back the full enjoyment of your sex life.

If you want to look for a therapist and don't know where to start, you may want to go to the web site www.aasect.org and look for a certified therapist near you. If there are none there, then look in the phone directory for counselors who can give you good recommendations.

Thank you for writing.

Reviewed by: Scott Gross M. Ed.