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Question:
I have had a consistent problem with over vaginal lubrication, meaning that I lubricate to the point that there is no "friction", causing my significant other to lose his erection. How can I avoid this?
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: ()
Thank you for contacting The Sexual Health Network. What you are describing does not sound like any vaginal infection with increased discharge. This obviously would have to be treated. It sounds more as if you simply lubricate very easily. I bet you that many women who read this Q&A will be quite envious, since lack of lubrication is such a common concern, which may lead to painful intercourse due to increased friction. So instead of looking at it as ‘over lubricating’ maybe you could look at it as ‘lubricating easily at this stage in your life.’ Lubrication is not necessarily related to how aroused you are. Some women who may feel very sexually aroused simply do not produce much lubrication, while others like you have a much easier time ‘getting wet.’ As women age and go through normal changes, including childbirth and maybe breast-feeding (which typically reduces vaginal lubrication), the amount of lubrication may also vary. But this of course does not help you very much right now!
I do not know of any way to reduce your amount of lubrication. It sounds as if your partner does not receive enough direct stimulation of his penis and looses his erection, when he is inside of you. Instead of blaming yourself I would encourage you to deal with this situation in collaboration with him. He may need to see a physician. I do not know how old he is but erectile difficulties always warrant a thorough physical exam. There are many good treatment options for erectile dysfunction available and I can recommend reading Dr. Ghanem’s article (see link on the right).
It sometimes helps men to wait a few minutes with an erect penis before they penetrate. This will allow the erection to become very firm and to possibly last longer. Another thing you could try is to switch over to manual stimulation once he starts getting soft. Some couples like to experiment with sex toys. Good Vibrations (see link on right side) carries a vibrating sleeve that the penis is inserted into. You might both enjoy inserting his penis with the sleeve into your vagina. This way he would still receive direct stimulation of his penis – and you might enjoy it as well.
I hope that some of these suggestions are useful to you and that you may have some fun trying them out.
Good luck!
Annette Owens, MD PhDReviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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