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Question:
the way my jelly fat looks. can i ever lose it? what can i do to have a orgasm? i still love to have sex.but itfeels like theres something not happening.or i have never experienced one compleatly.i can remmber one time for sure. istarted one but never got to finish it.
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/18/2004)
You have given me a lot of additional information other than noted in the question, which will be posted. You are in your forties and seem to have had a weight problem for many years. When you were growing up your father made negative comments about your body and called you a hore. Now your partner and others make negative comments about your body. You had a total hysterectomy and wonder whether you can still experience orgasms after this operation.
To answer your last question first: Surgeons are usually very careful not to injure any important nerves during pelvic surgeries. Only if the nerves necessary for an orgasmic response become injured during a hysterectomy, will the ability to reach orgasm be affected. Very often women are able to resume normal sexual activity following a hysterectomy, including the ability to reach orgasm.
It sounds as if you have experienced orgasms before, or at least been close. What do you think an orgasm will be like? Some women expect a prolonged physical response, and they do not realize that in fact they are already experiencing brief orgasms. I encourage you to read "Becoming Orgasmic" by Heiman & LoPiccolo (ISBN: 0-671-76177-3). This book provides an excellent resource of information and exercises, which you can do on your own.
Your self-esteem is low, and has maybe been low all your life, in part due to the negative messages you did get about yourself while growing up. Nobody will remain unaffected by comments such as the ones you have been experiencing in your past and even today. To answer your initial question, whether you will ever be able to loose weight, my answer is "Yes, you can." Do not do it simply to please others, but do it for your own health. Even loosing a few pounds will be beneficial; make yourself a realistic goal. You may want to consult a weight loss specialist who can help you, but you can also try to start on your own. The most important thing is to be motivated. I would suggest modifying your diet. If you usually drink much soda, switch over to water or other no-calorie drinks. If you are not sure how to modify your diet ask a dietician or consult with your physician. Also try to get some exercise. It may be hard to get into a healthier cycle, but once you get started it often gets easier. Even just loosing a few pounds may enhance your self-esteem and from a medical point of view enhance your health.
Good luck and best wishes to you!
Annette Owens, MD PhD
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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