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Question:
My wife admits to a low sexual desire. We have been married for 10 years. Our first years of marriage was great but sex has decreased considerably. I usually have to initiate things and that makes me feel as though I am the only one who wants it. My wife does reach orgasm during sex and says sex is fine. My questions is this: Do certain herbs or drugs such as Lady Viagra or Ascend really work or is it a bunch of hype? Hope you can help.
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Answer:
by Georgan Gregg: ()
Herbs or drugs are probably not the answer to your dilemma. Sexual partners often vary in their degree of sexual interest. It’s important to be able to discuss the situation with love & calmness. If you are saying that you wife had desire that has waned it might be useful to begin the discussion there. Perhaps you have both fallen into habits regarding love making which can be altered to charge up the sexual atmosphere. Even if she has a lower desire for sexual intercourse, you may find that there are other kinds of love making which appeal to both of you.
In addition to having a more creative sex life it’s important for you to understand that many factors may affect sexual desire: how the marriage is going in general, fear of becoming pregnant, traumatic life events, poor self-esteem, sex-negative beliefs or experiences. Sexual desire can also be impacted by some illnesses & medicines.
Here are 2 great self help books I highly recommend:
·(female sexuality) “For Yourself” by Lonnie Barbach.
·(male sexuality) “The NEW MALE Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld
If you have no success with talking things out or through reading, you should see an AASECT-certified sex therapist. The therapist would assess your issues & counsel both of you. You can find a certified counselor or therapist via AASECT (American Association of Sex Educator, Counselors & Therapists).
Good luck & let us know if we can be of further assistance.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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