Register to join our community
|
|
Question:
My wife was sexually abused as a child by her brother for a number of years. She has undergone therapy and is doing quite well. She has never been very sexual and i was told by the therapist that is why. She has been on paxil and wellbutrin for a few years and she basically has very little interest in sex. I however was an everyday person. The therapist recommended that i take zoloft to slow my drive down, which i have done. For a short while, we were having relations on weekends only, now its once every 2 weeks. She claims that her doctors have told her that these medications do have any effect on her libido. I have been reading everything i can and i disagree. She has never even masturbated herself, she claims not to have any interest what so ever!!. I am not sure where to go at this point. Please help.
|
Answer:
by Aline Zoldbrod: (05/29/2004)
Sexual abuse can completely change a woman's experienceof her own sexuality. The Paxil may be a contributing factor, but you are right to assume that the sexual abuse probably is the cause of her lack of connection to her own sexuality. Because of the ongoing nature of the sexual abuse, with the perpretrator being someone she should have trusted, your wife is more likely to have been negatively affected than if she had had one episode of abuse, or abuse from someone from outside the family.
I hope that she will do some reading, because there are some wonderful books specifically about reclaiming your sexuality after incest.
I suggest that you look for books by Wendy Maltz.
I wrote a book called SexSmart which may be helpful in further understanding the sexual dynamics in her family.
Many times in therapy, a person who has been sexually abused makes a lot of progress, but it is particularly terrifying to actually think about being sexual in life now. Sexual activities, sights, sounds, all can trigger bad memories. We don't want her to get overwhelmed once she begins to re-learn touch and trust with you.
If/when she is ready to work on this, I would suggest professional help from a certified sex therapist. Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
|
This question appears in the following topics:
|
|
|
|
