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Question:
I have been married for 11 years. A few years ago, my husband cheated on me and didn't tell me about it. I wound up with some type of infection, which eventually cleared up with medication, but was never tested for an STD at the time because I didn't have any reason to believe he cheated. He then confided (over a year later) that he used a condom when he was with this other woman, and that it only happened one time. I have 2 questions that stem from this situation. First, could this really have been true... if he had used a condom, could something have transmitted from -around- his penis from her to me (we had make up sex within 24 hours of him being with her and I don't think he took a shower before). Second, I am considering leaving him and getting back together with an old boyfriend. I was wondering how long in between one partner should you wait before having sex with another partner - as far as transmittal of any cells are concerned? My thought would be at least a few days to a week, but I would want to make sure I have info for him as well... as he has a healthy sexual appetite. I would not want to transmit anything to him, or have him transmit something to me because we didn't wait long enough. Can you please give me some advice or guidelines along these lines? Thank you for your time, Making Safe Choices

Answer:
by Erin McKay:
(04/21/2007)
Thank you for contacting the Sexual Health Network.

There are several sexually transmitted infections (STI) that can be spread even with the use of condoms simply through skin to skin contact. For example the human papilloma virus (HPV) also known as genital warts, Herpes (HSV) and Syphillis.

A common misconception is that STI can not be spread through unprotected oral sex. However, this is untrue. If your partner did not use protection during oral sex any STI could have been spread.

The infection that you describe could have been anything from a simple yeast infection to Chlamydia which is a sexually transmitted infection (STI). The most common symptom of an STI is no symptoms at all. Therefore, it is very important that you and your partner go and get a full STI test that you could probably get from your doctor.

For you this will involve a pelvic exam and a blood test. Make sure you also ask for a PAP smear as this is not usually done during a STI check but is as simple as one extra swab. A PAP is important to have done at least once a year to detect for abnormal cells which could lead to cervical cancer, often caused by a very common STI called the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV).

For a male the test can be as simple as a urine sample and a blood test.

You should know your results within a week. Most STI are easily treatable if caught early.

It is also recomended you both get an HIV test 3 months later in order to completly rule it out as often it takes that long for the virus to show up in a test. Use condoms in the mean time as a safer sex option.

Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS

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