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Question:
I am 25 years old and my 74 year old female neighbor wanted to begin a purely sexual relationship. I do not have to go into the details of how this happened, but needless to say i accepted. I was wondering if there are any precautions i should take and also, what would be the best/ safest positions for her to take. I would not want to hurt her but i dont want to seem naive about sexual positions. can you help?

Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree:
(05/15/2006)
You sound like a very smart and considerate man. It is hard for an older woman to find sexual pleasure, intimacy and sexual release since so many people think that as women age, they aren't interested in sex. It is smart of you to think about what precautions you might take. Pregnancy for her at this age is not an issue, but sexually transmitted infections certainly are. Since it is likely that both of you have past sexual experiences, either of you could have contracted a sexually transmitted infection that has gone undetected. Many infections do not have obvious symptoms, especially those that are caused by viruses (i.e. herpes, genital warts, HIV, hepatitis B). The best precaution then is for you to wear a latex or polyurethane condom which lessens the likelihood of infection exchange. A second alternative is for both of you to get a thorough check up, specifically asking the doctor to look for any form of sexually transmitted disease. Once that is eliminated as a concern, then the next issue is what will make the sexual encounter pleasurable for both of you. The best way to know what she needs is to find out from her. Partners are not expected to know what the other person wants or likes. It may be that she likes something that you don't, and/or makes you uncomfortable. Why not talk about it first? The one major difference that a woman experiences as she grows older is the lining of the vagina gets thinner and it does not lubricate as much. I would suggest that you have plenty of water-based lubricant like AstroGlide (you can find it at amost pharmacies over the counter) so that any touching of the genitals is well lubricated and slippery and you are not depending on natural lubrication. Anything else you might want to know - ask her!

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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