Fingering (or as you call it, finger banging, someone is the putting of one or two fingers (usually one at first) into the opening of a girls vagina and moving it in and out in ways that seem to please her. It is hard to know what pleases a person, therefore it might be helpful to know someone well enough that you can talk to them (how does this feel?) or at least make sounds of pleasure that they can respond to so you know that what you are doing is feeling good. The idea in fingering someone is to also make sure that the clitoris of the person is being stimulated by your hand or fingers since that is where the most nerve endings are located and what continues the stimulation while the finger is in side.

If you don't know where all these parts are feel free to look at a book that shows the vulva (outside area with labia and openings) of the girl and then write back and ask me more questions. I will be glad to help you. I wish I had someone to ask questions of when I was your age.

As for as eating a girl out, it means that you would put your mouth and tongue on her vulva and lick or move the lips. Again, where you put it is dependent on what feels good to her. I know that if you asked other guys that might indicate that all women are alike, but this really isn't true. So many women need and want very different things, and the only way you both learn this is by experimenting. That is why it is so good that you didn't do things with girls until you feel a little more ready.

It really will help if you do it with someone you can talk to. You need to experiment together to find out how to do things and where she wants you to use your mouth. Some like the clitoris touched with the tongue, some like the opening of the vagina, or the labia. Others won't like any of it and won't want you to do it at all.

I hope some of this is helpful, and I will be glad to answer other questions you may have. I recommend that you might get a book for teenagers called Our Bodies, Ourselves by Ruth Bell. It is one of the most informative books for young people on all aspects of sex, bodies, etc.

You also might look on the web site www.sxetc.org and www.goaskalice.org at the many articles that are written by teenagers there, and many of your questions might be answered.

Reviewed by: Scott Gross M. Ed.