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Question:
I am an incomplete C5-6 quad, 26, male, injured nine years. I have no problem getting or maintaining an erection, with little or no stimulation, but the problem is that during intercourse or masturbation if I go too fast or rub the head of my penis, my stomach begins to spasm and my penis shrinks. Also, my ejaculations take too long, but when I stimulate the base above the testes I get quicker results. Is there a toy that stimulates just this area?

Answer:
by Mitchell Tepper:
(05/16/2004)
Losing your erection as a result of direct stimulation of the head of the penis is not unusual in men with spinal cord injury. In your case, I wonder if this is the result of retrograde ejaculation--ejaculation that goes backward into the bladder instead of outward through the urethra. If this is the case, you may see a sign of ejaculate in your urine afterwards. If retrograde ejaculation is not the cause, I can only speculate that there is an overload of stimulation to the nerve endings in the head of the penis and that the injured spinal cord interferes with processing that information. When the focus is on ejaculation or orgasm, the sexual experience is likely to be goal-oriented. Goal orientation sounds more like work to me than fun. When sex is goal-oriented, the mind starts to wander away from the erotic and toward distracting thoughts, increasing performance anxiety. Focusing on the process and not the outcome will enhance affirming sexual experiences whether by yourself or with a partner. Yes, there are toys that may enhance your pleasure. Since you are online, you can go to a Web site like goodvibes.com and look through the toys for men. There are sleeves, pumps, tubes and other devices to choose from. See, for example, the Jelly Vibro Tube that has both ends open so you can position the sleeve to provide maximum stimulation exactly where you want it. Slow down, savor the sensations and let sexual energy grow. Try positions that increase the amount of full-body contact. Chances are you and your partner will appreciate it immensely if you take the time to get more physically and emotionally connected. --Mitch Tepper

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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