Answer:
by Larry Siegel: (07/12/2004)
Hello and thanks for taking the time to write in. Please accept my apologies for not getting back to you sooner... I understand your frustration and your request for something that would reduce your libido. Unfortunately, there is really nothing I would recommend for your situation. The potential risks you run in taking something (herbal or otherwise) to quelch your sexual drive outweigh any benefit you may get. For example, there are herbs (like ephedra, and guarana root) the have reduced sexual desire as side effects; mainly because they can make you jittery and irritable. Medications like Zoloft, Xananx, and Benedryl can reduce sexual desire but you would be taking them inappropriately. You state that you wopuld take any recommendation to your family physician, which is a great thing to do, but I don't think that would be the most helpful direction for you.
What I would suggest is speaking with a sex therapist or psychotherapist trained in sexual issues in your area. You don't say why your wife "is unable to have sex" so it is difficult to give you anything specific. What I do hear in your request is that you're asking for help in coping with or adjusting to the situation. Sexual thoughts are normal and I don't hold high hopes that they can be eliminated. It's what we do with those thoughts that count. Perhaps you and your wife can talk to a therapist together and find a level that you can both comfortably co-exist sexually. If nothing else, it would be much better for you to be able to cope with your situation both emotionally and intellectually, while not sacraficing yourself sexually. IN other words, there are better ways of dealing with your situation than searching for a pill that would turn off your libido (isn't that a line from a Joe Jackson song?).
I hope you're able to find someone to help you in your situation. I do believe that you have more choices than you might realize so talking with someone could prove to be very enlightening. I wish you all the best and hope all goes well for you. Take care.
Larry Siegel Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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