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Question:
i have meet this guy about a year ago at my job. i really like him but he was married and has a 4 year old kid. he told me that his wife had died after his child was born. last winter when i was on vaction from school i had went out with him. on the second day that i went out with him, he tells me that he does not want a serious relationship with me because i was young but i let him kiss me including in some areas of my body. today i had saw him and i let him kiss me and one had led to another that when i knew what was happenin my pants were down and he wanted me to lower down my panties i said no but he pull them down and said that i won't put it in and had me laid on my Stomach and started puttin his dick around near my behind. i was wondering if anythin is really goin to happen??? he did not but his dick in. I told him not to put it in but still i want to make sure
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Answer:
by Larry Siegel: (03/07/2005)
I appreciate your writing in. However, I'm not sure I fully understand what your asking. It seems that you're concerned about getting involved with this man in a way you might not be ready to deal with yet. If that is the case, you should be aware of a few things. First, he has made it very clear that he is only interested in using you. He told you that you're too young for him to get involved with yet he seems to want to have sex with you. From what you described, I would say that he seems to be a bit aggressive as well, judging from your saying no to pulling down your panties and him pulling them down anyway. He seemed to listen when you said no to putting his penis in your behind but what about the next time?
You should really take the time to think about what it is you want from him. If you don't want to have a relationship where he uses you for sex and that't the end of it, you might want to re-think putting yourself in a situation like you describe. If you don't want that kind of involvement, you need to be able to say "no" in a way that it is clear you mean "no." My guess is that if you put yourself in a situation like you describe, you may have to end up fighting him off and you may not be successful. The best thing to do if you're not ready for the kind of involvement he may want is to simply tell him so. Please make sure, however, that you are clear and assertive; don't let yourself be talked into anything you don't feel comfortable doing. It's easy to get talked into something by an older man if you don't make up your own mind and stick to it. If you do, no one can make you do anything you might regret after.
Thanks again for writing in. Take care and be well.
Larry Siegel Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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