Elsewhere, you mentioned that you fear being humiliated because of your penis size and are afraid that you might die a virgin. Also, you think your use of adult sites on the Internet is problematic. You’ve tried to connect with women online, but not had much success due to what you describe as your “negativity, insensitivity, and truths.” You also mentioned that you think you might have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which involves intrusive, unpleasant thoughts and strong urges to engage in certain behaviors in order to reduce anxiety. Finally, you said you thought you might have Avoidant Personality Disorder, which involves a lifelong pattern of extreme “loner” behavior and difficulty relating to others.

The challenges you describe are significant. But, there is hope. I think the key may be in finding the right kind of supports, so that you don’t feel so alone.

My first recommendation would be looking at the mental health resources available to you. In these days of managed care and long waiting lists, it can be difficult to find the right providers – especially if you have a hard time communicate your needs effectively to others. Ideally, I would recommend consultation with a psychiatrist to discuss your anxiety and what makes you think that you have OCD. Many people with anxiety disorders find that they can enjoy a richer social life once their symptoms are better managed.

My second recommendation would be working with a therapist who can help you learn techniques for managing your anxiety and compulsive behavior, as well as help you develop a more positive self-image and improve your social skills. Group therapy may also be a good option for you, since it gives you a chance to learn and share with other people who are struggling with similar issues.

Finding someone who respects you, appreciates you, and wants to share herself with you sexually may seem unlikely right now. But, you just may find that, in time, it because a wonderful new reality.

Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS