When I was around 10 my friend and I layed on top of each other naked and masturbated together. In my sophmore year of high school I was sexually taken advantage of by someone I met at a track meeting. I have since been able to forget about the high school incident and move on with my life.

My grandfather died when my dad was 9 and my father had strict and militant childhood. He learned how to be a man in his two year stint in the Army. My father was verbally abusive and very militant while I was in high school. He is very one sided and narrow minded and 68. I don't know if any of these experiences led to the straight, bi or curious thoughts.

I masturbate weekly and enjoy anal sex. I have a few toys and read SCORE and SWANK. While looking through catalogs I find myself looking at penice dildos and vibrators and wonder how they would feel inside me. I see gay or bi videos and wonder if I could see myself doing that. The only time I really think about it is when I'm thinking about sex or masturbating. Sometimes when I'm looking at a catalog or watching porn and see a fit man I will wonder what he feels like but sometimes I could never see myself doing that. I don't know if I could go 100% gay. It seems so disgusting. Maybe I'm just curious or fascinated with myself and see me when I look at pictures. What are your thoughts??

First off, please accept my apologies for the delay in answering your question.

You want to know whether you are gay, bisexual or just curious about men. I think from the get go we can rule out gay, since you claim to be very attracted to women. Most gay men who I have spoken to do not feel any attraction, especially sexual, to women at all.

That leaves us with bisexual or just "curious." This is a distinction you will have to make yourself. However, I can give you some information that may help you to think about it and understand your own feelings.

First, same-sex sexual experiences in childhood and adolescence are quite normal. These acts are often the result of the fact children often segregate themselves in same-sex friendship groups around the same time that they are beginning to be sexually curious and aware. By the same token, an abusive/exploitive act like the one you described during your teen years will not *cause* homosexuality or bisexuality. Finally, there is no solid evidence that one's relationship with one's parents can lead to being gay, lesbian or bisexual, either.

You should also know that there are many heterosexual men who enjoy anal stimulation, and that this alone does not qualify anyone as gay. Anal stimulation is an act, one that you can perform with a man or a woman. Anal stimulation is also one of the best ways to stimulate the prostate gland, which some men (gay, straight, and bisexual) find quite enjoyable.

Perhaps you might enjoy getting some anal toys specifically made for men (they will often be called "prostate stimulators") and trying them out alone or with an understanding female partner. That will allow you to explore your curiosity. You may eventually find that you would like to try a sexual experience with a man, but you may find that you just wanted to try anal stimulation. Once you know a little more about what you want, you can decide what label fits you best.

Either way, enjoy yourself! :)

Blaise

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team