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Question:
A problem which you must have come across so many times. To start with I have severe premature ejaculation problem. When I start feeling or when a girl starts feeling me I ejaculate within seconds in my underpants. And this is frustrating. To start with my sexual history, I've been sexually active since I was 12 years. I am not a gay but I used to have sex with my cousin. We indulged in kissing and having good fun. Our private parts used to touch because we had fun by taking off our clothes. I always had a very good erection and never ejaculated without masturbating. But when I had sex with him the last time, i.e. when I was 15 years old, we indulged in anal sex. When I pissed after that, the urine smelled really bad, but I ignored it thinking it must be due to anal sex. After this I didn't do anything for a year. When I was 16, I tried making out with another guy but I ejaculated as soon as we started foreplay. But later, when I was 17-18 I tried making out with a girl and the same thing happened. As soon as she started feeling me, I ejaculated in my underpants. This happened 6-7 times with her. I was in deep trouble. I was really scared, I thought I contracted some STD. Then I got my semen culture done and there was E.coli in semen. I was prescribed antibiotics that flushed out the infection. Now I am 20 years old and I don't know if I'll be able to have a satisfied sex life with my wife. Sometimes I feel that I won't come across premature ejaculation as the infection has been cleared. But when I masturbate, I ejaculate within 30-40 seconds. I have read a lot about this but I know that squeeze and other methods really won't work in my problem (ejaculating during foreplay). Now I want to consult a doctor regarding this and get my physical examination done. I got my STD tests done (VDRL, TPHA, HIV 1 and HIV 2). The tests are negative. Is it possible to suffer from "ejaculation during foreplay" because I am having this problem after I had infection in my semen? What can cause such a problem and what can be done about it? Please help.
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Answer:
by Rajendra Sathe: ()
Not being able to control ejaculation is probably the single most common male problem. Hence your problem is unrelated to your infection.
Premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs immediately prior to or just after insertion of the penis into the partner, without any sense of voluntary control. It occurs very commonly in men below 25 years. Premature ejaculation may be caused due to over-stimulation, anxiety over sexual performance, and stress. In some men it could happen repeatedly because of a ‘conditioned response’. Thus if a man's early sexual experiences were in a hurry where rapid ejaculation was encouraged, then it may have become a learned habit. This may be true in your case. Lack of awareness of the preliminary sensations that lead to orgasm, also make a man unable to control ejaculation.
Two methods - the stop-start method and the squeeze method have been extensively studied and used. In the stop-start method the man is made more aware of his sensations as he is approaching orgasm. His partner manually stimulates his penis while he focuses on his sensations. When he feels that orgasm is approaching, he has his partner stop the stimulation. The extreme sexual tension will be diffused, and then the partner can begin re-stimulation. Slowly and surely the results are obvious.
The squeeze technique is commonly done with the man lying on his back. His partner, who is sitting up and facing him, sits between his legs. The partner masturbates him to the point when he feels that ejaculation will occur. Acting on his signal his partner squeezes the penis with the thumb on the ridge between the head and shaft, and the first two fingers situated on either side of the ridge opposite the thumb. This squeeze lasting for up to 5 seconds eliminates the desire for ejaculation. After repeated several times on many occasions this method is extended during intercourse. When the man feels close to ejaculation, the penis is withdrawn and partner administers a squeeze. Over time this results in ejaculatory control.
Approach an American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) certified therapist, as trying all this on your own may be difficult.
Doing the Kiegels exercises will also help. Look in my Archives for more information on these exercises.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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