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Question:
I'm a female involved in a relationship with another female. We have 3 children between the two of us. My partner has an extremely high sex drive. She has to have sex every day. If not, she gets depressed and says things like it's her problem and that I'm content with having sex only 2-4 times a week. I have to get up at 5am and drive 40 miles to work which is a new job. I enjoy sex, but it's not the only thing I think of 24-7. My partner starts to get angy with me and doesn't respond to telling me goodbye in the morning before going to work if she hasn't gotten her sex fix the night before. Gets a bit passive-aggressive. I have tried talking to her that I like making love with her, but I also need to get my rest during the week since I have to get up early and get to work. She says I should feel flattered by her wanting to touch me constantly and have sex, but its creating a problem between us, as I would like to go to bed without the constant pressure of performing every night. She has to have sex to feel loved is what I'm hearing and this is creating a problem. She constantly has sex on her mind and I'm trying to tell her I like a night or two between lovemaking. Then she tells me that I just need to make love to her for about 10-15 minutes a night. She just needs that fix. It makes it sound like a man wanting to mount his wife until he ejaculates and then its over. I'm trying to commuicate to her that we have to meet half way to solve this and I want to make the relationship flow smoothly, but I think her addiction to sex is overbearing. What do I do? My partner is 38 & I'm 34 and my partner thinks there is not going to be a tomorrow. This constant fixation on sex has more importance to her than paying attention to what the kids are doing, how their doing it, etc.i.e. She is constantly trying to touch my breasts when the kids are around, etc. which I think is inappropriate behavior in front of the kids, but she will stop and do it again at another time. I've been in other female to female relationships before and I've never experienced anything like this. Counseling is the obviously choice, but in the meantime I need some feedback. My partner also states to me that she can't stop touching me when she is around me, so maybe she shouldn't come home, and constantly says she just needs to stay away from me and find something to do. I need some HELP!!!
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Answer: by Farid Abdel Hadi: ()
I do not have enough experience with this aspect of human sexuality. All of my work was on heterosexuality. I am afraid I will not be able to realy help you.
But, in short, your partner is possessive, this is clear enough. A confrontation may be needed that may prove serious enough for you two to break up.
Do ask for professional help.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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