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Question:
I feel so ridiculous asking this question, but I just have to. It helps to hear the opinions of professionals. I know similar questions have been asked on here but I'm paranoid and I just want to ask it anyway.
My fiance and I often will take turns in manual stimulation for each other. It is almost always with all our clothes on, or at least me so there is always a clothing barrier. He always stops me before he ejaculates so he can grab a kleenix to not make a mess, so I never get ejaculate on my hands. However occasionally I will get pre-ejaculate but I am always careful never to come near touching myself. This particular instance I'm wondering about involved me getting pre-ejaculate on my hand and I wiped it off on the side of the bed where it wouldn't be likely to be touched by one of us. Both of us had all our clothes on and a little while later my fiance began to lightly finger around my clitoris briefly until I told him to stop. He knows he did not touch any of the pre-ejaculate, he had not recently ejaculated but I am paranoid that he could have either touched my hand (which would have been dry or at least mostly dry I believe) and could have transfered sperm to me and I could get pregnant, keeping in mind that I had clothes on (and they never came off) so he would have had to touch them to get near me. Now I also am on Desogen and always take it within an hour or two at the MOST from the time I should. But I am still paranoid that people can get pregnant on the pill and what if... I know it may seem so stupid but I still worry about it even though my fiance says there's nothing to worry about. Say the pill did fail, or what if I was not on it at all...would this behavior be risky for causing a pregnancy??? I get conflicting information from seemingly credible sources as to whether sperm is even present in pre-ejaculate and that also concerns me. STD's are not a concern as we are both confident we have none, both of us are virgins.
So is there much real posibility that I could get pregnant from something like this? You're answer would be so much appreciated...I need to stop worrying about such things and enjoy a health sexual relationship.
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Answer:
by Blair Glaser: (11/15/2005)
Anxiety. So painful to deal with, yes? The good news is that it sounds like you have a loving partner and a lot of support.
The other good news is that pre-ejaculate has a very low (if any) sperm count. Sperm need to be warm to stay alive. It dies very quickly once outside the warm temperature of the body. *If* there was any sperm in the pre-ejaculate, from your story it sounds like it was outside the body too long to have any effect, in addition to the fact that he did not insert his finger inside you, and sperm mostly need to be injected into the vaginal opening for them to find their way through the cervix to the ovaries.
You sound well protected. Take a deep breath! Are you working with any health counselors who assign your medication? It sounds like some psychological exploration into why and how your anxiety overtakes you would be helpful to you in your desire to enjoy a normal healthy sex life.Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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