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Question:
I am a 58-year-old male with post-polio syndrome and have
been married for 31 years. Although I have increased limb
weakness, general fatigue and joint pain, I have a healthy
sex drive. During recent years my wife has lost her interest
in sexual intercourse. She started taking estrogen a few
years ago, as well as Valium and Prozac. She says sex has
nothing to do with love and marriage. What can I do? I love
her very much and it hurts me to abstain from sexual contact
with her.
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Answer:
by Elizabeth McNeff: (05/16/2004)
My initial response is to get in immediate contact with your
family physician to discuss the possible side-effects of the
medications your wife is taking. Estrogen does not normally
have a direct effect on libido. It may even help,
indirectly, since it maintains the elasticity of the vagina
and aids in lubrication. Valium, depending on dosage, can
decrease libido if it causes lethargy and drowsiness. Some
people have reported that Prozac diminishes sexual appetite.
Although sex should not be the one and only focus of a
relationship, it is certainly an important component. For
couples with a healthy and committed relationship, there is
usually a strong link between sexuality and love. For
others, there is little correlation. Ultimately, you may
decide your problem merits consulting with a qualified
mental health therapist.
Before you seek counseling, however, I suggest that you and
your wife sit down and have a frank discussion. Be honest
and direct; express your feelings, thoughts and concerns as
candidly as you can. I realize this process is
anxiety-causing and risky. But consider this: You have been
married for 30 years, obviously love and cherish your wife,
and do not wish to abstain from sexual contact with her.
Isnšt it worth the gamble?
--Lizzi McNeff
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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