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Question:
Hello there..!
how are you ? Well I am a 22 year old man.I am studying and am from a fairly rich family background. Now the problem is that I am sexually very very active...I mean i cannot live without sex for a long time.....NO MATTER how hard i try....I have tried yoga techniques, and other mind control methods...but all in VAIN..!(SO PLZ DONT SUGGEST ABSISTENCE COZ ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME).
Now I have had sex only with 1 gal uptil now.She was my ex gal friend and i have broken up with her.HONESTLY SPEAKING, I JUST NEED A SUITABLE FEMALE TO SATISFY MYSELF. Now the problem is that recently, I read alot about AIDS .. and now I get SCARED and WORRIED to approach any gal.
I mean, even if the girl is from a good family back ground and good by nature, I keep imagining the possibility...of her having AIDS.....I HAVE BECOME A PARANOID...!
(*PLZ COMMENT:- Is this tendency...RIGHT OR WRONG.. of assuming that the female whom i wanna have sex...may have AIDS ?*)
I have a few good looking gal friends who are also good by heart....but have had previous affairs in their past.One of my friends is also ready to have sex with me ...but now the problem is that I tend to get in 2 minds..... since i read about AIDS.....because from INSIDE MY HEART..even i get tempted and AROUSED and feel like having sex (using condoms and other precautions) , but at the same time the other mind of mine says that "its the question of LIFE AND DEATH, and I MUST NOT have sex ".....(But here again the problem is that i CANNOT MAINTAIN ABSISTENCE FOR TOO LONG).
Now I have tried controlling myself from sex for about 5 to 6 weeks, and now I have started to BREAK UP and my want for sex has rapidly increased.I know myself very well......and I can GUARANTEE you , that I may end up having sex with some girl soon....if this absistence is continued for another 2 or 3 weeks.
Another problem is that .....its PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to ask any of the girls to have an HIV test done.I know that she will not agree and its sort of embarassing.
And Apart from embarassment the 2 other reasons are as follows:-
1> the WINDOW PERIOD GAP of about 6 months is not maintained ......i mean if the girl does an hiv test just a few days before i have sex with her ...and comes out to be negative....THE RESULT IS OF NO USE.(because it requires about 6 months time for the hiv virus to show up in a blood test).So doing an hiv test just before sex is NOT REALLY GONNA HELP to know if a person has HIV/AIDS.
2> And again if she has done an hiv test 6 months before having sex with me....and comes out to be NEGATIVE....even then there is NO SUCH GUARANTEE that she has NEVER slept with any one who is RISKY ,from the ..date of the hiv test....till the date when she has sex with me .So once again doing an HIV TEST is not gonna be of any USE.
(**VERY IMPORTANT**) :-.I am stuck up in a SANDWICH. ( MARRIAGE IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE OF SOME FINANCIAL PROBLEMS).....Neither can i stay totally away from SEX and Neither can I stop getting worried about AIDS.
PLEASE TELL ME HOW CAN I HAVE SEX WITHOUT GETTING AIDS.WHAT METHODS OR PRECAUTIONS SHOULD I FOLLOW SO THAT I AM PROTECTED AGAINST AIDS
Now i asked a few friends of mine and their suggestions were as follows:-
(*IMPORTANT*):-
FRIEND 1 :- (He is very experienced in sex...has had sex with many gals....including PROSTITUES AND CALL GALS..since last 3 to 4 years...and when done an hiv test recently...he came out to be SURPRIZINGLY NEGATIVE...! He still continues to have sex his OWN WAY whis is as follows:-
He said that getting sexually attracted is a natural phenomena of NATURE.If you wanna have sex then nothing is wrong in it.Just be careful about AIDS.Learn to Use precautions properly and you will be fine.He said that nothing is 100 % assured of hiv apart from absistence....But if you check your precautions, you can be close to 100%.
That means:-
a> if you wear 2 LATEX condoms(containing NONOXYL-9).....and if you check them properly for any holes (by pouring in water or blowing air inside), BEFORE using them.
b>......if you DONT do oral sex on her, and wear condoms while she is sucking your penis,
c> and if you make sure that you dont have any cuts in your mouth while doing deep kissing.....you WILL NOT CATCH AIDS....EVEN if your partner has AIDS.
He said...thats because...by checking yourself and taking proper care....you have prevented ANY BODY FLUID to get inside your body.....and IF NO BODY FLUID enters inside your body...you are TOTALLY SAFE. SO JUST FOLLOW THE ABOVE STEPS AND BE FREE TO HAVE SEX WITH ANY GIRL U WANT.
PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS .DO YOU THINK THIS IS RIGHT AND I CAN GO AHEAD WITHOUT ANY FEAR AND HAVE SEX WITH WHOEVER I WANT...?
FRIEND 2:-(He is our college hero, and has had sex with many gals and MARRIED LADIES TOO...BUT NO PROSTITUES OR CALL GALS.He too when tested recently ...came out to be negative.)
He said that FRIEND 1 is right.But he warned me .TO AVOID PROSTITUTES AND CALL GIRLS strictly.He said that you can have sex with girls and females who come in contact with you in day to day life.He said that select girls who are of HIGH SOCIETY and having HIGH STANDARD.By doing this , you reduce your chances of encountering a female who has HIV.
He says that he has studied the % of hiv population....and he said that most of the population lies in SEX WORKERS and the % of hiv present in day to day life people is fairly LOW.He said that only those who approach prostitues are most likely to have AIDS.....not those who seek STANDARD SOCIETY FEMALES.
He also said that AIDS is a REALITYand it can happen to ANY ONE..But that DOES NOT mean that you SHOULD ASSUME that EVERY girl you meet at your office or any girl you meet in college HAS AIDS.All those people are just like you, and they too must be TAKING CARE to avoid getting AIDS.
PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS.
FRIEND 3:- (He has never had sex in his life).
He said that YOUR FIRST PRIORITY should be absistence.But if thats not possible then you must search a female whose a VIRGIN because she is the safest..But its practically very difficult to find VIRGINS in todays generation...because by the age of 20, almost every girl has had sex.
So sometimes, finding a virgin may not be possible....And again if u ask any female about her past sexual life....most gals will say that its their FIRST TIME even if its not.That is because its a natural human tendency to HIDE their past sexual experiences.Also , even if she tells you about her past...she may NOT tell you the COMPLETE TRUTH about her past.(some things may be kept hidden/not told and u cannot really find or check that hidden stuff).So You HAVE NO OPTION but to believe what she says.
He also warned me that there are many girls from HIGH SOCIETY who have aids, and are spreading it, as an act to take revenge from society.And spotting such girls is never possible.YOU CAN NEVER KNOW, WHATS THERE IN SOME ONE'S MINDS.....AND WHAT THEIR MOTIVES ARE.So be very careful while having sex.If at all you have sex. with some one whom u dont know properly....follow FRIEND 1's method of protecting yourself....and you will be fine.PLEASE COMMENT.
I know that my email is very long, but PLEASE DONT IGNORE ME.I need your suggestions and comments to what my friends said and WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING. So please mail me back at your convenience,
Yours faithfully,
MR CONFUSED
PS:- I would be obliged if you could give me your email add , so that i can keep in touch with you personally.....because searching in allexperts.com site is very time consuming.
**************************
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Answer:
by Georgan Gregg: ()
There is no need to be totally abstinent to remain free of HIV. You can have sex & have absolutely no worry about getting HIV/STD by having:
·sex with yourself (masturbate)
·sex within a HIV-negative, mutually monogamous relationship with no other risk factors (drugs, for instance)
·“outercourse” (sex without penetration or exchanging blood, semen or vaginal fluids) rather than intercourse.
If you choose to have intercourse with a partner who’s HIV status is unknown you can make sex safer by consistently & correctly using moisture barriers such as latex or polyurethane condoms (for vaginal or anal intercourse) or, for vaginal intercourse, use the female condom, a plastic pouch held in place by rings at both ends, or plastic wrap (for mouth to vagina or anus).
You are correct in thinking that it’s best to assume your partner has HIV unless she’s been tested. The financial or other status of your partner has nothing to do with real risk factors because it’s what you DO that puts you at risk, not who you are. In fact, the only time you don’t need condoms & safe(r) sex, is IF your can trust that your relationship is now & forever monogamous, & IF you both test negative for HIV, & IF after another 3-6 months of using safer sex & otherwise not being at risk of infection with HIV you both test negative again & IF you both test negative for all other STD---THEN you can stop using safe(r) sex.
Feel free to contact me again at sexualhealth.com web site if you have further questions.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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